Japan for the Uninvited

Sex dolls in Japan are not generally the grotesque, O-mouthed type, but tend to be much more sophisticated and realistic. In Japanese, these silicone dolls are known as datch waifu (Dutch wives), a name likely to be about as popular with Dutch ex-pats as “Turkish Bath” (brothel) was with the Turkish embassy a few years ago.

Originally, a Dutch wife was a body-length wicker bolster used by travellers in the balmy Dutch East Indies to keep a sleeper’s limbs off his sweaty sheets. Apparently, some lonely sailors cuddled up to them just for comfort, which might be where the Japanese got the name from.

The Axis alliance and sex doll history

The modern incarnation of the sex doll was developed in the 1930s for the relief of Japanese naval crews. Similar dolls were being developed at the same time by the Germans, which makes you wonder how things might be different if WW2 had gone the other way.

From pornstar replicas to shag lumps

Some are incredibly detailed and realistic, with faces and bodies modelled on porn actresses. Other manufacturers hack away all nonessential elements – arms, legs, head – until all the customer is left with is a lumpy cushion with nipples and a hole in it. Flat-chested dolls dressed up as schoolgirls also seem to be quite popular – one striking thing about sex dolls in Japan is how young they look.

The most sophisticated silicone dolls can cost around 600,000 yen, and come with a lifetime warranty. Unwanted dolls are discreetly reclaimed by the company, and given a Buddhist memorial service before being dismantled and destroyed.

Dutch wifeswapping

The expense and potential embarrassment of owning a Dutch wife has created a market for the sex doll brothel. At one store, customers pay 12,000 yen for an hour with their submissive silicone escort. Guys sometimes bring in special costumes and cameras, so they can fulfil whatever fantasies their girlfriends won’t, and get a few souvenirs. This rampant sex toy sharing would appear to have serious health implications – you have to hope everyone’s playing safe – and it’s not even worth thinking about what the cleaner has to do.

Dutch husbands

The girls needn’t feel left out, as there’s a whole range of similar dolls for women. Although these “Dutch husbands” possess all the anatomical requirements for a good time, they are unlikely to satisfy any lady who likes her partners dominant.

• ‘Silicone satisfaction’ (Tokyo Times)
  “In an attempt to get the low-down on this burgeoning business, Dacapo magazine sent two intrepid students to try out the service.”
• ‘Sex doll’ (Wikipedia)
• ‘Dutch wife’ (Tokyo Times)
  “But in technology driven Japan, dutch wives are not freakish looking inflatable monsters.”
• Orient Industry
  Company manufacturing top-of-the-line Dutch wives – loads of pictures (Japanese only)
• ‘Lusty lady takes quartet of toy boys for a spin’ (MDN WaiWai)
  “What is less known, is that a counterparts of these dolls, equipped with male appendages, are available for women.”
• ‘Rent-a-doll blows hooker market wide open’ (MDN WaiWai)
  “Prime among the sellers of silicon sex workers is Doll no Mori, which runs a 24-hour service supplying love dolls”
• ‘More cushion for the pushin’’ (conbinibento.com)
  “Recently, I happened upon what is probably one of the strangest examples of a sex doll that I’ve ever seen.”

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