Grown in glass boxes

In the 1980s, a farm in Shikoku started doing things differently. By growing watermelons in specially-made glass boxes, they forced the melons into a cubic shape. Leaping to worldwide attention, the square watermelon became a potent symbol of Japan’s appetite for novelty and innovation. The foreign media were captivated with Japan’s latest technological oddity, so much so that they greatly exaggerated the popularity of the square melons. In fact, the market for the succulent cubes is very small indeed, partly because they are prohibitively expensive, costing at least 10,000 yen (around £50 or $100).

Square watermelons as gifts

Square watermelons appeal mainly to wealthy Japanese people needing an impressive gift. Gift-giving is an important part of socialising in Japan, and beautifully-presented fruit is very popular. The usefulness of a gift is not nearly as important as its expense and the extravagance of its packaging. In fact, impermanence is usually more appropriate – beautiful gifts which doesn’t last, like food or flowers, appeal strongly to the Japanese sense of aesthetics.

Practical benefits

Besides their curiosity value, square watermelons have some genuine practical benefits. They are easier to stack and package than the round fruit, and less likely to be damaged in transit. Reaching the customer’s home, the carefully-chosen dimensions of the melons allows them to slot easily into a standard refrigerator compartment. The flat base also prevents the angular fruit from rolling around when being cut. These advantages hardly seem to justify such an extravagant product, but practical concerns of space and convenience are extremely important in urban Japan, where there is a pressing need to use the limited space efficiently.

Having said that, practicality is hardly the point, is it? Realising how profitable novelty can be, farmers have since developed pyramid-shaped varieties. These don’t get so big, and they aren’t allowed to mature property – they’re candy, but only for the eye. They’re are also much more difficult to stack, so we’re almost back where we started. Other versions, including melons shaped like gourds and bottles, are in the pipeline.

Foreign varieties

Despite the intrigue surrounding square watermelons in the rest of the world, the sheer expense of the fruit seemed to make it unlikely for it to spread outside Japan. However, in August 2006, UK supermarket chain Tescos announced their own, cheaper line of square watermelons. The melons are grown in Brazil, using cases made of wood instead of glass.

• Square fruit stuns Japanese shoppers (BBC News, June 2001)
  “Japan has again shown off one of its greatest innovations – square watermelons.”
• Japan corners the market on square fruit (CNN.com, June 2001)
  “The square boxes are the exact dimensions of Japanese refrigerators, allowing full-grown watermelons to fit conveniently and precisely onto refrigerator shelves.”
• Square melons on the way (Daily Mail, August 2006)
  “Tesco has developed a new square watermelon which can be sliced like a loaf of bread.”
• Odd Innovations: Geometric Fruit
  “Now in a complete twist, comes the completely opposite problem, the pyramid shaped watermelon. Good luck stacking these things!”
• Pyramid-shaped watermelons (Pink Tentacle)
  “Each melon is cultivated inside a hand-made acrylic box from a very young age.”

During the Edo period, when salt was much more scarce, the people of Japan’s remote Izu Islands would save salt by preserving the fish they caught in a salty soup (kusaya-eki). The fish would then be laid out to dry in the sun.

When bigger catches came in, the same solution would be used salt to preserve multiple batches of fish. Although odorous, the smelly fish it produced came to be highly valued, and the same batch of kusaya-eki can be used for centuries, increasing in flavour and odour over time.

• Kusaya (Wikipedia)
  
• Kusaya
  In Japanese only, but plenty of pictures
  
• Niijima Kusaya
  Japanese only

Before 1867 and the Meiji restoration, Buddhist beliefs prevented people from killing animals for food. However, during hard times, this became unavoidable – but there weren’t many animals around. Despite being highly valued domestic animals, horses would have been obvious candidates for the dinner table, which is where the basashi tradition started.

Unlike sashimi made from other types of meat and fish, basashi is extremely chewy, and can be inedible if not properly prepared. Although horse meat is a relatively healthy, with a high protein content, Japanese consumption of horse flesh is in a steady decline.

• Horse meat in Japan (Wikipedia)
  
• Japanese Diet/Cuisine: Basashi (New Holland HFT)
  “While sometimes subjected to criticism of perceived cruelty, basashi is one of many special delicacies in the world that are uniquely regional.”
  
• Basashi (Everything2)
  “If you can overcome your prejudices, you will find that good basashi tastes as smooth and creamy as the best tuna belly.”
  
• Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream (Mainichi Daily News)
  “You can get it straight from the horse’s mouth, this would have to vie for the vilest ice cream ever created.”
  

• asparagus
• bamboo shoots
• boiled eggs
• broccoli
• camembert
• cod roe (fish eggs)
• dried fish flakes
• eel
• egg yolk
• kimuchi (spicy Korean pickled leaf)
• nori (seaweed)
• octopus
• pickled ginger
• potatoes
• shiso (perilla leaves)
• shrimp
• spaghetti
• squash
• squid
• teriyaki chicken
• tuna
• zucchini

Further information

• Field Guide to Weird Japanese Pizza (8Bit Joystick.com)
  “Pizza parlors have gotten popular in Japan but the dish did not go over there without mutating into a bizarre cross cultural culinary explosion of funky flavors.”
• The Web’s First Japanese Pizza Page
  “Japanese pizza, in some guises, is truly an abomination for mankind.”
  
• Pizzas from the Dark Side
  “I swear that none of these are fictitious. All are 100% genuine promoted recipes.”
• Japanese Pizza (greggman.com)
  “You’ll have to trust me. This stuff is awesome. Actually many of them would be easy to make here.”
• Japanese Pizza
  “Eating a pizza at a pizza restaurant can give you insights into what the Japanese people think people in various countries eat as toppings.”

• abalone (shellfish)
• basashi (raw horse meat)
• brown rice
• cherry blossom
• curry
• charcoal
• chicken wings
• deep sea water
• dried kelp (seaweed)
• garlic
• goat
• lettuce
• natto (fermented soy beans)
• noodle
• oyster
• persimmon
• potato
• red wine
• sesame
• shark fin
• silk (?)
• spinach
• stout (beer)
• tulip
• wasabi
• whale
• wheat

• The Wacky World of Japanese Ice-cream (MDN WaiWai)
  Gallery of interesting Japanese ice cream flavours, with descriptions of each
  
• More Japanese Ice Cream (Maiso Bisson)
  “I got all excited about some unappealing Japanese ice cream flavors when I found the story in Mainichi Daily News a while ago”
  
• Green tea ice cream (Wikipedia)
  “This flavour is extremely popular in Japan, and almost all ice cream manufacturers produce a version of it”

Aside from the obvious attractions of salivating over a nubile body, it is claimed that nyotaimori warms the food to body temperature. Apparantly, this allows the diner to focus on the texture and taste, rather than its temperature. However, many people fail to see the advantage of sushi being lukewarm and slightly sweaty.

Jobs in nyotaimori are not for the ticklish or fidgety. Models are trained to lie still for hours, and they must be able to endure unexpected splashes of cold water and prods with chopsticks. Her body must be completely shaved, and specially washed with fragrance-free soap before the feast. Traditionally, the meal is eaten directly from the skin of the model, but hygiene laws in many countries prevent this – forcing restaurants to wrap their girls in clingfilm to prevent contact between skin and food. According to custom, the model should be a virgin, but this doesn’t seem to be observed any more.

The spread of nyotaimori outside Japan has been limited. Some restaurants started offering human platters, only to withdraw the service months later when faced with the moral backlash. In 2005, China, continuing its valiant crusade for human rights, banned restaurants from providing nyotaimori service, saying the practice “insults people’s moral quality”. For the handful of Western restaurants that still provide body sushi, stiffer rules have been imposed – customers cannot talk to the “plate”, molest her, or say anything offensive to or about her. She’s still naked though.

Wakame Sake

A similar delicacy is wakame sake, which is poured down a model’s body and drunk from the cup formed by her closed thighs. The name “wakame“, meaning soft seaweed, refers to the pubic hair floating in the drink. This is not widely-practiced, and wakame sake is even rarer than nyotaimori.

• Wakame sake (Wikipedia)
• Nyotaimori (Wikipedia)
• ‘China outlaws naked sushi meals’ (BBC News)
• ‘Naked sushi leaves a bad taste’
  Criticises arrival of nyotaimori restaurants in the US
• ‘The naked lunch turns fishy’ (UPI)
• ‘Body sushi is not for the ticklish’ (Guardian Unlimited)
• ‘Does this smell fishy to you?’
• Restaurant’s displays get women’s group steamed
• How to do a proper wakame sake

Every June, the green, unripe plums are cured in salt, before being packed in shiso (beefsteak plant) and marinated. This gives them a distinctive red colour and sour taste.

Historically considered something of a miracle cure, they have been used for a wide number of medical complaints, from diarreah to headaches to hangovers.

In the Edo period (1600-1868), samurai used the preserved fruit to combat fatigue – the citric acid broke down lactic acid caused by physical strain.

Even as Japan’s diet becomes more Western, umeboshi remains a daily staple food – as a sweet, a filling for onegiri (rice balls), or a colourful garnish for drinks.

• ‘Umeboshi’ (Metropolis – Big in Japan)
• The Miraculous Umeboshi
  More information about medicinal benefits
• Umeboshi Menu
  How to make umeboshi

Traditionally, making mochi is a group activity. Village people sat together, hand-pounding the rice with a kine (wooden mallet). According to Shinto tradition, each grain of rice represents a human soul, so the process was reflective and self-purifying for the whole community.

In some Western mythology, when we look at the moon, we see a man on it. The Chinese see a rabbit, pounding magical herbs to make the elixir of eternal life. The Japanese, with their love of obscure wordplays, envision the same rabbit pounding rice to make mochi. The name of the full moon is “mochizuki“, while “mochitsuki” means “making mochi”.

The rice cakes are extremely sticky and difficult to swallow, and many people choke to death on them every year. The New Year is a particularly dangerous season, because many people eat ozoni, a traditional soup containing mochi, which is served on New Year’s Day. Newscasts feature an annual “death toll” of all the old or drunk people who bit off more mochi than they could chew. In one case, a 70-year-old man was saved from a glutinous death by his resourceful daughter, who used a vacuum cleaner to remove the hazardous blob he was choking on.

• Nakamura Family Annual Mochi Tsuri
  Annual webcast live from Southern California, held in December
• Mochi

Traditionally, anko has been mainly used in manju, the most famous Japanese sweet. Bean paste is wrapped in soft dough made of flour, rice powder and buckwheat, which is often flavored with green tea. It was introduced to Japan by a Chinese merchant in 1341. Since then, its sweet simplicity has made it a staple of the Japanese diet.

Recently, the popularity of manju has been eclipsed by anpan, a bread roll filled with sweet bean jam. The multicultural snack was invented by Yasubei Kimura, an unemployed samurai. Japan was beginning to adopt Western foods, but they only bread they could make was salty and sour. Kimura used bean jam to make bread palatable for Japanese tastes.

In 1875, the Emperor Meiji was presented with anpan, painstakingly decorated with pickled cherry blossoms. He was so impressed he requested that the sweet be served to him every day. Following his endorsement, the popularity of anpan (and bread in general) spread rapidly throughout Japan.

• The story of Anpan
• Wikipedia: Manju

The raw fish is packed tightly in salt for a year, then dried and mixed with rice. This mixture is left to “ferment” for 3 years. The rice is changed every year, but the fish is allowed to decompose.

As you’d expect, funazushi has an overpowering smell, which discourages many people from trying it. The taste is sharp and vinegary. It can be used in soups, deep-fried in batter to make tempura, or served in green tea (ochazuke).

History of funazushi

Around 1000 years old, a preservation method called narezushi came to Japan from China. In Shiga, narezushi became funazushi. Fermentation was used as a way to preserve food stocks for the winter. Like many other Japanese foods (umeboshi, natto), funazushi became a national delicacy, even when fresh food became available all year round.

Funazushi is increasingly rare. As fresh fish has become available, modern sushi has been developed, reducing funazushi to novelty status. Younger Japanese people, who have more Western tastes, are less likely to develop a taste for the dubious treat. Recently, it can only be found in Shiga, and the smelly preservation technique may soon be redundant.

• How to make funazushi